balancing an egg
the moment just before finding the balance, as if the eggs texture changes into solid,
first i did think it's impossible, but as i saw more and more eggs standing on the floor by them selves, i started to believe in what i was trying to make happen. still it remained difficult, i kept telling myself "it's possible", "this is easy". looking at the other eggs i saw they were not always standing upright. some were slightly slanted and yet balanced. it allowed me to stop trying to balance the egg where i thought the balance should be found, but rather feel where the balance was by thinking of the fluids inside the egg, how the yellow of the egg must be heavier than the white. it started to make even more sense and eventually my egg was standing on its own.
body color/ space color
thinking of resistance made me more present and aware of the space. i was especially inspired by red body, i was finding new qualities from my movement that i have not been inspired by lately at all.
slow walking was probably one of the physically most challenging things i have done in this life. some times it was amazing, effortless, joyful. i could see everything in the room around me, smell all smells around me, my body was fluid or like air; i was one with the space. times when i lost that concentration, it was heavy, hard, tense, horrible; my shoulders would ache in pain and my fingers became numb.
the level of energy and intensity during the installation that we all created, was very powerful. it was very unique moment and i'm happy there were people to witness it.
being naked in front of people was much less awkward as i first thought it would be. i wish i could've also been an observer of the contrasts that we created with nude/clothed/half clothed. later i was thinking if the contrast would've been stronger had we all been dressed really nicely to begin with. i feel the identity is definitely more present when dancer is dressed in their day clothes than wearing training clothes, -even that is usually what we spend our day on.
the last jumping experiment was torturous. very shortly i was so tired that it became nearly impossible to get myself off the ground. my center was so heavy and i was already not wanting to push myself any further, so tired i was.
when everything was over, i felt like screaming and crying of anger that suddenly welled up from somewhere. later i was able to understand that it was probably due not only the exhaustion, but also having pushed myself far beyond my own comfort zone, mentally and physically, had made me feel much more open and vulnerable.
-mental note: a place to go again. need to explore this more.