BORDERS

Something that I keep going back to during the borders creation process is T.S. Eliot's poetic work, "Four Quartets"

there are a lot of phrases and imagery from the poem that have crept into my dance; somewhat unintentionally.
When I think about the process of making work with LEIMAY, I especially think of the phrase "A lifetime burning in every moment." 
There are no breaks in LEIMAY pieces, there is no going off into the wings, no intermissions.  You have to be completely in the work for the entire duration.  If you perform the work at a certain level of commitment and intensity, it feels as though it happens in an instant and an instant feels as though it could happen for eternity.  I often catch myself dancing in a memory that was not my own, but I recognize it somehow, as if it happened to me in dream or another life.  The memory of my ancestors.  Holding hands with the dead, as Hijikata put it.  It is, perhaps, that "still point" Eliot speaks of.
But a lifetime burning at every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
Eliot's poem speaks about time and man's relationship with time.  Brief instances of experiencing eternity or encounters with the Eternal, the divine, perhaps.  The soul's journey.  The borders of reality or perceived reality. The timeless present.  no before or after, "neither from nor towards, at the still point, there the dance, is."
St. Augustine wrote, "who shall lay hold upon the mind of man, that it may stand and see that time with its past and future must be determined by eternity, which stands and does not pass, which has in itself no past or future."
One of the epigraphs is a quote from Heraclitus that states, "the way upward and the way downward are one in the same."
Zan-shin (残心) characters for "remaining" and "heart" or leaving behind the heart.  after the execution of jo-ha-kyo.  awareness continues.  there is no end, no release, just the next cycle.
 
To perform without artifice
When I think about creating art, when I think about performing art, i am not so interested in being understood.  If I was only interested in conveying my idea precisely to the audience, my performance would be very flat.  I don't really care if they know exactly what i am thinking.  if their ideas about the piece are similar or different to my own, doesn't dictate whether I've succeeded or failed in my job as a performer.  I want people to have their own experience, not just be a witness to mine.  I'm not even interested in making something beautiful.  I'm really only interested in being honest with myself; that what I feel and think are genuine.  There is no shortage of beauty in this world but I think that sincerity is something seriously lacking.  I think LEIMAY really tries to rid a performance of all artifice, some people may not like the work, but no fells as though they've been manipulated.
 
Natural Grid- I often image a landscape like the one described in J.G. Ballard's book "The Crystal World."  In the book, a jungle, in Africa is being overtaken by a crystallization process.  No one knows why the phenomena is happening or how to stop it.  It spreads quickly.  A "jeweled twilight" realm;  It's beautiful and horrifying at the same time.  
In my imagination there is this glittering dew, that clings to the surface of my body. It gives a spectral quality to the space and the atmosphere is heavy, hard to breathe.  The dew begins to crystallize and the body can feel itself being overtaken, so it breathes long and deep, creating tiny shattering cracks in the crystal coffin that had begun the encase the flesh.  I have to break it very carefully because it has become part of me.  It tears at my skin and opens it.  from these cracks come the smoke, the wisps of cotton, the fireflies, and these iridescent, singing strings that fill the space with music and eventually hang the body.  When the petrification comes, it's overwhelming.  no fear or panic.  A small death comes, overtakes me, and leaves like a dream.
I like apocalyptic narratives and I like Ballard's works especially.  they are not so much about devastation, but about transformation.  There is no "end of the world."  the book seems to take place in the "still point," time falls away and there is the transformation state of becoming and ceasing to be.
Pages from my Notebook (I usually don't write from front to back, so passages rarely happen linearly)
*create a situation that allows the body to be affected and creates a conflict and then a resolution.*
 
I would often fall asleep in the shower
there was a large window in the shower and I would look down and see the boys outside.  Then they would come up and kiss me
when I was asleep and naked.
sometimes they were also naked.
 
the DRY GRASS singing
 
There is a couple sitting across from me at the bar
-young
-well dressed
-attractive
 
they hardly speak to each other but every once in a while they lean in and kiss on the lips
 
they eat
the woman comments on how the movie playing is strange
 
one goes to the toilet and then the other
they leave
 
memory is substantial because of reproduction
 
the yogi discovers the real self and thus becomes, removing awareness from the illusory self, ceases
 
If we were to invite the dead back to life, they would refuse (Schopenhauer)
 
Nature materials:
-red maple =
color dark red
5 points /edged
parts eaten away
spider web
 
-dry earth =
texture
branches coming through
rocks / ripple in rock
 
Kami no Yo "age of the gods"
when man was pure and the gods dwelled in the hills and trees

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